Husbands

Does your husband frustrate you? Mine does on occasion (the occasion is that the day end in Y). When I started blogging, my mother asked me if it would be a way to daily vent my frustrations about John. That wasn't my original idea, but I did consider it a good possibility. God pushed me in another, more productive avenue for this blog however. (Glad I listened!)

I will say, I don't believe that my husband compliments me. He doesn't enhance my personality or make my life a whole lot easier. We have had a difficult time of our lives together. There are days I wonder why God put this man in my life. During a rough (er) patch, someone pointed out to me that perhaps God gave me to John in an effort to help him on his way toward the light. That has helped me find my purpose in our marriage.

When I think about it (and believe me- I really had to THINK), I realized that John has a purpose in my life too. He challenges me. He stretches me. He has helped me realize that I have the potential to get 5 kids in a car at a moments notice to run quickly and bring him a can of gas when he runs out. He has taught me all about grace (giving and receiving) and forgiveness. He has introduced me to key people who have influenced my walk with Christ and the relationship I now have with Him (thank you Sharon, Pam, Pappa, Willow Springs Church family!). He has shown me that I can safely corral 6 children under the age of 4 in a busy parking lot, answer my cell phone, and accurately tell him just where the milk might be (answer: refrigerator!!!) He helped me plan and execute my fairytale wedding full of Scottish kilts and a bagpiper. He has taught me the important difference between NEEDS and WANTS when we struggled financially because of poor choices. John also gave me the precious gift of my son- Sawyer. Without John, there would be no Sawyer and for that I am eternally grateful.

So- the next time my cell phone rings, and I hear his voice begin, "Honey, I just thought you should know I'm at the hospital. I nailed my fingers together.", I'll have to think back to this list and remember that he truly is MY gift from God.

Enjoy your Flight

In an effort to give equal time to the other Fat Old Mom in my group- I have included her picture here (twice). She and I have 'rollercoaster weight' issues, as you can see by HER pictures, and my various pictures. I love you Erica! I couldn't do it without you! And thank you for sharing a love of movies with me!!
ANYWAY-
In an effort to plunge my 'rollercoaster' to the bottom once again, I was on my treadmill this morning. When I walk, I watch TV (actually- sometimes the walking is just a rationalization to be able to watch TV uninterupted for an hour!). I happened to catch a movie about a plane ride gone wrong!

I started watching it in the middle, but the allegory of God struck me so hard. As I entered the scene, a woman (flight attendant) was trapped on board an aircraft with a serial killer. Let's call him EVIL. Evil wanted this plane to crash into L.A. so he could kill a LOT of people all at once. He was charming. As the woman was frantically trying to fly the plane, Evil was standing outside the door, using his charms to get her to come out. He told her that her friend was bleeding. He fooled her a few times and got her to do what he wanted, but she continued to recognize him for what he was, and return to the cockpit. Even after she recognized Evil for what he was, she still was seduced by him a few times and ventured into the cabin.

All the while, as this battle raged, the control tower was trying to safely land the plane. When the woman wasn't in the cockpit- there was no communication. The control tower just had to sit back and wait for her to fight off evil and come back to listen to the instructions. They wanted to help her turn on the auto pilot, so they could do it all for her. They wanted her to sit, listen and let them handle it.

To add to the confusion, there was a storm. Now the control tower didn't make the storm, and they didn't put evil on the plane, but they knew how to help the woman navigate those dangers. IF ONLY SHE WOULD SIT STILL AND LISTEN!!! When she finally did, the plane was landed safely and all was good.

Now don't think that Evil didn't keep trying right to the bitter end, and there were other voices coming through her radio that were telling her to do things that would destroy the plane, but when she TRULY listened, and discerned the correct voice, she got through it. In the end, that voice's final words to her were, "Now don't touch the controls." She had her hands right there, and she WANTED to take the controls, but she didn't. To do so would have meant disaster.

I was thinking... the movie depicted her as 'just a flight attendant', but even the most seasoned of pilots can't land a plane without the control tower. There are too many variables that the pilot cannot see from the cockpit. There are too many hazzards and unforseen dangers that he needs an outside source to navigate his flight and landing.

So it is with us. No matter how smart we are. No matter how capable we are, we still need to sit back and quietly listen to the control tower. He will help us get it on auto pilot, and then we just have to let Him have the controls. Have a good day, and I hope you enjoy your flight!

Under Achiever

From the time I was a child, my parents told me I could do anything. I was smart enough, had enough 'gumption' and they were very supportive of my efforts. Of course, I didn't ever feel capable. Do any of us? How many of us have a mountain of confidence that allows us to face new tasks with no fear?
As I sit here this morning in my baggy sweatpants, hair in a pony tail and a foreign substance stuck to my shirt (where did THAT come from?), I wonder why I have no confidence.
I believe and trust in my Lord. I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I have GREAT friends who encourage me at every turn. I was even told the other day that I am an 'under achiever'. Now most people would be insulted. I took it as a compliment. It means I am listening to God.
In my previous life, I was an over achiever. This particular person didn't know me then. Back then, I was driven. I was compelled to achieve, to move ahead, to make my mark. I wanted to be admired, complimented. I worked 2 jobs, was a single mom, was active in my community, owned all the things I should (house, car, etc.) I was busy 24/7/365. Multi-tasking was a way of life. I learned to pick up things with my toes because I didn't have enough room in my hands and it would be more time efficient to make one trip. One day, a daycare child asked me how many Wal-Mart bags I could carry in from the car in one trip, and I proudly replied, "All of them! I am a MOM!"
So imagine my surprise when I was called an underachiever and was proud of that. After I described my former life to this person and assured him that I had made the CHOICE to focus on my family and work for God instead of the world, he understood. Slowing down (those who know me will laugh here, because it doesn't SEEM as though I've slowed down all that much!), was concious decision. Re-focusing on God's will for my life has redirected my energies. My friend had merely meant that he knew me, and thought I wasn't living up to my full potential (on a worldly plane).
Someday, I will see my mark on the world. It will be my children. It will be my family. It will be my witness. It will be my testimony. It will be my joy. I am looking now at the UNDER in under achiever as symbolic of being UNDER God's command. I can achieve more here, than anywhere else.

I'm Being Used!!

"I'M BEING USED!!!" How many times in my life have I uttered those words in despair. Over the years, I've had people use me for my time, talent, finances, body (back when I HAD one!) and various other things. I've been frustrated to the point of tears when someone I love and care about has expected things from me and been ungrateful. I'm a giver by nature, so I love to do things for people. Unfortunately, that creates in SOME people a desire to take advantage.

My kids ask me to stop what I am doing to rush to their sides for every little need or desire "Mom! Tie my shoe." "MOM! Pour me a glass of Kool-Aid." My husband wants me to find him a pair of socks. The cat wants to be fed. The dogs bark to be let out. My Mom wants me to help her with 'thus and such'. My Dad wants me to check on something at the farm. "Do me a favor" has become the prefix to so many of the sentences I hear during the day. I do home daycare for a living, so it is only compounded by the fact that I surround myself with needy people. (I know- I bring it on myself!)

When you give everything you have to a cause, a person, a goal, a dream and then find out it was unappreciated, it makes you want to scream! You feel cheapened. The act of kindness seems unworthy of your efforts. Even when it IS appreciated, the constant demand of your time and energy is tiring.

Returning to my former issue about ATTITUDE, I see now that we have to look at WHY we have given. Have we given of ourselves because of the outcome, or for the act itself? Does it feel better to GIVE or RECEIVE? When we feel used, maybe it is because we don't start out in the right place to begin with. Maybe we need to see our acts as seperate from the results.

Recently, I have felt compelled to work for Jesus in ways I never dreamed He might call upon me expand and reveal myself to the world. I don't know how it will be received. I don't know what the results will be. I don't know if I will be patted on the back, or booed from the stands! You know what...it doesn't matter. God ignited the fire and wants to thrust me out into spotlight.

My attitude about it....USE ME GOD! Now I feel PROUD to be used.

Shuckin's

Over the years, I have declared myself a domestic goddess on occasion, but the truth is, I'm not real "Little House on the Prairie-ish". I like to put up applesauce, and last fall my husband coaxed me into helping him butcher a deer, but the only other thing I really do from scratch is corn. I have a friend who generously gave us about a million ears of corn, and I decided to freeze it. My five year old ,Sawyer , wanted to help. Since I thought cutting it off the cob, or dealing with the boiling water might be a little dangerous for someone of his age and attention span, I thought maybe he would like to peel the corn from its God given wrapper.
He went at it like a trooper, and at the end of the day, had a huge pile of corn shucks that rivaled any leaf pile you might find on a crisp autumn day. As a reward, I allowed him to leap into it and play. After all- he had worked very hard!!! As a result, his hair was FULL of the silk (or shuckin's as he referred to it!)
We were going to head over to my Mom's, and I know how she likes my children to look presentable when they enter the public eye, and this poor hillbilly child full of corn offal just wouldn't pass inspection, so I tried to make him stand still while I extracted everything from his hair. Much to my dismay, in his activity, I missed much of it, and it was immediately brought to my attention when we entered my mother's house. He, of course was proud of the shuckin's in his hair, because to him, it indicated HIS portion of the work. He was also excited when we ate the corn later and there were a few shuckin's in there too. He claimed it made the corn taste better. (Others have a different opinon, and tactfully pick it out!)
Do we have shuckin's in our hair? Is there something clinging to us that we are proud of that might not be viewed that way by the rest of the world (or God)? Maybe the world IS proud of us, but they shouldn't be! Has God tried to remove these shuckin's from us, only to have us squirm and writhe so He can't get them all out? Sometimes the fruits of our works produce things we are proud of, but are actually not a desired result. How do we become aware of the fact that they DON'T make the corn taste better? Ask God, ask Christian friends.....you may find you don't want those shuckin's in your hair after all!

Potted or Cut Flowers

I am so impressed by the people I go to church with every week! The man who delivered the children's message made this illustration that really spoke to me. He had two arrangements of flowers. One was a beautiful vase of roses. He said many churches are like that arrangement. They are beautiful and flashy and colorful. They catch your eye and make you want to be a part of it. Upon closer examination though, you realize that all the flowers are cut. They have no ability to grow. In order to get into this arrangement, you must be a rose, but only the flower. No matter how much care that was given to this arrangement, eventually it would die.

The other arrangement was a potted assortment. There were many different types of plants in it. It was green and had some varigated foliage. Some of the plants flowered with love and care. The difference with this arrangement was that it had the ability to grow. It's occupants had roots. Some of the plants had seeds that could be planted other places, thus sharing it's beauty. Some of the plants shot off runners that encouraged new growth in different pots. Some of the plants needed to be cut from its original and rooted somewhere else. This arrangement had the ability to expand beyond its original boundaries and spread itself in different ways to bring its gifts to other venues. It wasn't as flashy of an arrangement. It didn't catch your eye like the roses, but the joy comes from the giving. The gift was in the sharing. I assure you, hand either of these to someone in the hospital, and you would evoke the same twinkle of an eye.

Look beyond the original joy to the joy that the potted plant will continue to give for years to come with love and nurturing. Given to the right receiver, the ripple effect would be exponential as seeds are planted, leaves cut and runners encouraged.

So it is with our churches. Does your church have roots? Do its members seed, send runners or leave the pot completely to spread the love of Jesus? Does the church nurture the soil and encourage this growth? Only in sharing will the message of God endure.