Feel No Pain

I recently was listening to a broadcast about a little girl who had the inability to feel pain. My first impression was that it would be wonderful to be free from the burden of being hurt, but as the story continued, it described the fact that this little girl would touch hot things and burn herself. She would break bones without realizing it. She chewed on the inside of her cheeks until she had huge sores. She suffered all the physical trauma, but was unaware that she was doing it. Her parents had to be on a vigil 24/7/365 because she simply did not know what things were dangerous and could lead to fatal mistakes. She was bandaged and scarred.

On the flip side of this ailment, without a sense of touch, she also couldn't feel the softness of rabbit fur, or the pleasure of her mother's kiss. She didn't feel the deep pile of carpet beneath her feet or the warm saltiness of the ocean on the beach. She couldn't feel a whisper of wind on her cheek as the warm sun beat down on her face. She missed out on the good feelings too.

In looking back over my life, I realized that many times I had gotten to the point where I wouldn't allow myself to feel the pain anymore. I put up walls. Blocked myself out emotionally from those who would hurt me, physically, mentally and emotionally. I was still getting hurt, and engaging in hurtful behaviors, I just didn't realize the consequences- even though I still suffered them on some level.

In doing so, I also missed out on love. I skipped over affection in search of safety. I toughened my skin, my heart and my mind until NOTHING could penetrate, but being bulletproof also meant loneliness. Being impenetrable was impossible, but I thought I was protected.

Once God entered my life, and offered me HIS full body armor, I realized I didn't need my own anymore. He provided me with all of the protection I needed. Slowly, I began to feel again. It's not to say that I don't still experience pain, but when I do, God is right there with a band-aid, the Bactine and a magic kiss that makes all the pain go away. The beauty of this situation is that now am flooded generously with laughter and smiles and warm, fuzzy feelings, so even the worst of boo-boos don't seem to hurt as much.