I'M FAT!!!

I'm fat. I've been thin (ner) in my life, but now I'm fat. I'm not being unkind to myself. Just stating facts. If your frame is surrounded by over 100 lbs of cellulite and fat cells...YOU ARE FAT! I saw that fat person in the mirror the other day. I also saw that fat person looking back at me from a recent photograph. (And the photo was taken by someone who actually knew what they were doing!)

When did this happen? I know it wasn't overnight. Just last summer I was thin (ner). I know my fat cells didn't just hold a meeting one day and say, "Hey- how can we make her self esteem take a real nose dive tomorrow? Okay- everyone...INFLATE!!!" It was a gradual process, just like all of the other times I've been fat. It's the same gradual process that has made me thin (ner) in my lifetime. I always thought it was odd how the slimming process is so much slower than the fattening process, even though they are directly proportional on the scale of physics.

When I am fat (like now!), I often lament the fact in public. My declaration of obesity in church elicited this response from one of our youngsters. "You're not fat Lori." The child does not wear glasses and I'm not aware of any visual impairment that he might have, so I smiled sweetly and hugged him and said, "Why thank you Simon, but I AM. How nice of you not to notice."

It was then that I realized, SIMON DOESN'T NOTICE. You see, Simon is blessed with William's Syndrome. I say blessed, because he is free from the shackles that tie the rest of us to a strict social standard. I don't even begin to think I know anything about his 'disability' as some might call it, but I know Simon loves me with all of his heart. Simon loves everyone with all of his heart. Simon will ask you what is on his mind, and he doesn't care if you think it may not be appropriate or if might offend your need for privacy.

Because of this, I know that if Simon thought I was fat, he would TELL me I was fat. Simon speaks the truth. It was then that I realized that to him I am not fat or thin or short or tall. I am Lori. I am the one who will hug him every time I see him. I am the one who is challenged by him as I deliver the Children's Message during church services. I am the one he knows he can count on for a kiss, and to listen . To him, I am simply Lori. He does not measure my worth by my appearance...he measures it by who I am to him.

Isn't that the way it is with Jesus? He doesn't see us as we see ourselves in the mirror or an unflattering picture- even from the most skilled of photographers! He sees us as Simon sees us. He sees our heart. He sees our actions. He sees who we are inside, and THAT is why He loves us. I envy Simon and his inability to see the physical, and his incredible capability to see people's hearts. I want to be like Simon.