EXTRA Ordinary

I had a unique experience yesterday. I was able to witness to an old acquaintance of mine whose life has not traveled the path he had hoped. He phoned me from jail (again). He lamented the fact that he was there, and tried to deny the fact that it was his own mistake that put him there. Oh- he tried to say the blame belonged to the person who dialed the phone. He tried to say the police were to blame....but in the end, after I continued to ask the same question, he came to the understanding that it was HIM. I just calmly kept asking, "Whose fault is it that you are there?"

In the past, when I have counseled him in these areas, he has gotten angry with me, with God, with others. In the past, I did not have God guiding my words. I truly felt the Holy Spirit speaking through me as he and I spoke yesterday. In the past, my words were spoken to him by a wife and a judge. Yesterday they were spoken by a friend and Christian sister. As his mood began to escalate, God was more powerful. What I said seemed to make sense to him for the first time. I don't remember my actual words being much different than the thousand other times we have spoken, but with the power of God behind them, his mood dispersed and he was open to their message.

We talked about entitlement. He claimed he was entitled, as one of God's children, to be happy. I countered his comment with the observation that to me, it seems we are not ENTITLED to anything. We have done absolutely nothing to deserve any sort of happiness, and that every shred we are given is a gift. (There was silence).

When he sobbed about the persecution of his life (and it HAS been a tough one!), I asked if he had seen the movie The Passion of the Christ. I asked him to remember the whipping scene and challenged him to recall an event on his own life that could rival THAT persecution. I also asked him if Christ deserved what he endured. To think that we deserve to be treated better than Christ, seems arrogant to me. Why should we endure less pain and suffering than our Savior? Why should we EXPECT to? (Again- there was silence).

He ranted about how people had treated him unkindly and said horrible things about him. I asked how he spoke of them. He had used some unkind words to describe his new wife, and I told him that if he wanted her to speak highly of him, he needed to speak highly of her. As the words left my own mouth, the counselor became the counseled.

I didn't tell him what he wanted to hear. I'm sure he called for sympathy. I gave him anything BUT sympathy. I told him what he NEEDED to hear. I told him time and time again that my words were harsh, but they were truth and that they were spoken in LOVE, not judgment. I held him accountable with God at my side, and it made a difference. For once, in 15 years, I felt like I made a difference with him. Our conversation ended with him in tears, thanking me for my friendship, my guidance and my compassion (not sympathy!) I also left that conversation being convicted of the mistakes I was making in my own life and relationship.

As Christians, we are called to hold our fellow Christians accountable to what Christ has asked of them. We can do so in a loving way. We need to ask God to open the hearts and minds of those we confront in order to be able to speak the words boldly and with confidence. In doing so- we need to open ourselves to those words, because they are from God, and intended for MAYBE more than one set of ears! Trust in God to guide us , and He can take an ordinary conversation and make it EXTRA ordinary, and we might have wisdom to correct our own lives in the process!